Homer the great philosopher
The Thoughts and Saying of Homer
I never apologize, I'm sorry but that's the way I am.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
Internet. They have that on computers now?
It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
I have a great new motivation tecnique, it is donuts, and the possibility of more donuts.
How is education going to make me smarter? Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.
Is the poop deck really what I think it is?
Honey, vampires are just magical creatures like leprechauns and dragons and Eskimos.
All these guys with six pack abs, and I'm the only one with a keg.
Marge your cooking only has two moves, Shake and Bake.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Television: Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.